The lotus flower blooms most beautifully from the deepest mud.

Buddhist Proverb

Are you fed up of being in survival mode? Do you want to break the cycle? I did, when I finally took action, it felt like my life was a movie. A movie that has been both painful and a blessing. Would I do it again? Yes, if it means getting past the emotional control I allowed the trauma to have on me, then I would, in a heartbeat. Now, I want to help you get past the trauma that has a hold over your emotions, I want to help re-wire the way in which situations are thought of so that you can live life to the fullest, without feeling controlled.   

My coaching style draws from my own experiences in going through trauma as a child, by trial and error of what I had experienced; I am able to give you the guidance and support without you feeling as though you are lost.

You are not alone. If you’re fed up with feeling like a victim, and want to make the transition to living life to the fullest (that can mean anything to each individual), then read closely, because if I got out of the hole in my life, you can get out of yours.

People tend to have the impression that if you have experienced trauma at a young age, it is down to your home life. Honestly speaking, I feel that this is far from the truth, yes I do believe it can have an affect on a person but I do want people to understand that you can have the “perfect” childhood and still experience trauma.

Trigger Warning 

The distant past

For three years, from the age of 7 – 10 I experienced sexual abuse; by the hands of a relatives husband.

I experienced things that no child should ever experience, and it’s a shame to know that this is so common.

He would give me money, and treated it like hush money.
Being a kid I didn’t feel as though I had a voice to speak up about what was happening, but I knew it was wrong.

As this was going on I would smile and act as though everything was alright. My parents weren’t aware of what was happening, no one was. How could they? I didn’t say or show anything and even if I did my relatives husband was trusted and was “good” with the children so I would get the blame for everything that has happened.

A memory that is so vivid is when I was 10 years old, I was laying on the bed that him and his wife slept on he said to me “When you’re 13, we can have sex”; I knew instantly as he said this I shook my head motioning no.

I stopped staying at the house to prevent the early hour visits and also because I was getting older.

Opening Up

20 years later, I spoke up. After finding out that this has happened to a close relative of mine, I decided enough was enough. Two children.

I spoke to my immediate family, his wife, daughter and my aunty and her son.

I can’t express the disappointment and hurt that I had felt with some of my family members, I had expectations that they would side and empathise with me. Having expectations really destroys your outlook on things, and really makes you a person that starts resenting things and others around you.

I also informed the police. In doing so, I did receive some emotional blackmail from the suspects wife. His daughter upset me the most. I knew that it was her Dad so she wouldn’t want anything to happen to him, but in the beginning of it all she was on my side, she gave her mum the strength to kick him out of the house. Then she flipped the script. I thought I understood her actions, until she pushed me under the bus by saying that I was doing this for “financial reasons” which was far from the truth.

The Present

I’ve worked on letting those family members go, learnt to forgive them; forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you’ve forgotten what they’ve done. I’ve forgiven them not for their sakes, but for my own mental and emotional wellbeing. As I’ve learnt to forgive them, I have also gained the knowledge to never have expectations of someone or something, all you could be doing is setting yourself up for disappointment.

I’ve forgiven my relatives husband again not for his sake, but for my own sake and for wanting to create space for more positive emotions and experiences.

Believe me forgiving him was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do, but it was one of the most rewarding thing I have done for myself! You know that feeling of having a weight lifted off your shoulder, well it was exactly that though I felt as though a weight has been lifted as well as a cloud being removed from my sight.

From being someone who allowed my emotions to control me to a place of being someone who is in control of my emotions and setting boundaries for myself and others around me, I am living proof that you are more than your trauma.

Rising Lotus was Born

Through the trauma, the pain and the hurt faced with losing loved ones in my family.
I have now got to a stage where I want to help other women who have been through something similar.
This is where Rising Lotus was born.

We will work together to get you pass this, we will get you to a point where you know and understand that what you are feeling is more than that of what has been caused.

Whether you are trying to fathom and understand what has happened to you or simply want to gain control of your emotions, focus on a new direction and gain the confidence to speak, then let’s chat. I’ve been through it all, through all the stages; from not taking in what happened, to understanding I was a victim, to constantly living in survivor mode to being fed up of having to live as a survivor and wanting more.

Will you take the first step?